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I recently read Rachel Hollis’s book Girl, Wash Your Face which was given to me as a gift from one of my badass* girlfriends. The book outlines lies women grow up believing and how those lies hold us back from going after our dreams. Rachel shares real-life stories, lessons she’s learned and ends each chapter with “things that helped me” stop believing the lie.
As a 40 something year old woman, I found many of the chapters affirmed the lies I had stopped telling myself over the years so I made my way through the chapters quite quickly but not without a giggle or affirmative YES GIRL! from time to time. Then I came to Chapter 12. The lie: I need to make myself smaller. Welp! Guilty! I don’t know when or why I started believing this lie but as I made my way through the chapter I could think of SEVERAL examples of how I was living it.
Those who know me and are reading this will be saying, ya right girl! WHEN have you ever been small? I get it. I have accomplished a lot in my life. I am truly blessed. But if I’m going to get real right now, I have to admit that I’m embarrassed by my success sometimes. When I meet someone new and they ask me what I do, I almost always down play it. This is usually followed up with an awkward conversation that entails them asking more questions until I eventually admit what my actual role is. Why does it feel conceited to admit my success? I have faced obstacles and sad realities over the years but I have persevered and overcome challenges that have made me stronger and more humble than I was before. I am a fierce, successful woman. I am strong and driven. I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize for this!
You were not made to be small. Those seven words have stayed with me long after I read Rachel’s parting words,”Girl, wash your face!” I actually said those seven words out loud when I launched this new website and took the first step to building a following and growing our home business. I’ve learned the hard way how easy it is to lose yourself when you’re not honest about who you truly are and what you stand for. It’s time to stop apologizing for who I dream of becoming and go after what I want. Coincidentally, Rachel Hollis’s next book, Girl, Stop Apologizing just came out. I’ve already got my copy and can’t wait to dig in. Cue the #sorrynotsorry life slogan!
Following my dreams is living my best life. It’s time to focus more on being the best version of myself and worrying less about what other people think.
THINGS THAT ARE HELPING ME…
- Build a “good vibe tribe”. Surrounding myself with positive, empowering women who build me up and support me has been invaluable. I’m so lucky to have a large tribe of incredibly supportive women who fill me up. You know who those people are…the ones who make you feel renewed, lighter, happier after you’ve spent time with them. These people actually make me want to be a better version of myself. Find the people who give you that good vibe and make a point of being around them.
- Find gurus on the topic. I stole this one from Rachel Hollis but I totally agree! Podcasts, Ted Talks, books, blogs that nurture a growth mindset and give me the confidence to not apologize for who I am are super powerful. Respect to badass women like Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Brene Brown, Gretchin Rubin, Angela Duckworth and Neil Pasricha (not a woman but definitely a badass) whose work has inspired me. I know there’s so many more to mention.
- Write your own heuristics. Heuristics are mental short-cuts that help you make decisions and problem solve quickly. When I’m in the situation where I feel like downplaying my worth I tell myself:
- I was not made to be small.
- I decide who I am. (Thank you Rachel)
- I’m a badass.
*The Urban Dictionary defines “badass” as:
A general term used to describe behavior that is fearless, authentic, compassionate, and ethical. 2. Well above the social standard for “normal” behavior.
#sorrynotsorry
As a member of your ‘good vibe tribe’ I must say you have some of the absolute ‘goodest’ vibes of all! Love your site Wonder Woman!!
You are so sweet! Thanks T. You are the best cheerleader in our tribe. Love you! xo
Yes!! It’s so easy to downplay things, for fear of appearing “braggy” or “boastful” – I definitely believe in the power of a positive tribe of folks to support each other! Great work.
Thank you so much for leaving a comment! I think we need to start owning who we are and what we’re doing to live our best lives. 🙂
I have been meaning to read this book and did not know there is a second one. I for one am tired of playing small. Still looking for that group of supportive women who share this mindset.
I hope you enjoy the book. Having empowering people around us is so important. Keep building that tribe. 🙂
Thanks for leaving a comment!
What a kick in the butt this was for me. I need a good vibe tribe!! But most importantly, I need to see me as God sees me, and not even little shepherd boy David was made to be small. Thanks for the encouragement!
I love that. God has big plans for all of us. Be who he intended for you to be. 🙂 Thanks for leaving a comment.
Hi there – fellow Rachel Hollis FAN here! Thanks for sharing! I am working on the “Good Vibe Tribe”. It is so important!
It’s so important to have people around you who empower you. I have been around people who suck my energy and have me second guessing my decisions. We don’t need that toxicity in our lives. You’ll know those good vibe people when you meet them. Thanks for commenting. 🙂
PS. Forks DEFINITELY go on the left. A major pet peeve of mine. LOL. Can’t wait to check out your blog.
I love this! Sometimes I feel as though the culture wants women to be nice, quiet and keep to the status quo, and it’s so refreshing to hear from other badass women who are saying, “Throw out the status quo! We set our own level of what it looks like to be a woman who is living a wholehearted life in 2019!”
Right? Live your best life and don’t apologize to anyone! Thanks for leaving a comment. 🙂
I loved this article – and I totally get your point. But it’s so funny – I’ve been working on trying to be small(er) for a while now. I’ve done the big dreams thing; I’ve “had it all”; I’ve brought home the bacon AND fried it up in the pan. I’m ready for something smaller in my life right now. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not planning on withering away or not going on to be this badass* blogger. It’s just that the I’ve come to realize that a million little small things to help people can have a bigger impact over time than any of the big stuff I have accomplished. I think it’s all about perspective. You were not made to be small, but don’t buy the lie that you’ve got to do it all. Pick your thing. Find your tribe. And make a difference. Loved loved loved this piece!
Thanks for leaving a comment! I love the point you are trying to make and agree with you 100%. Not being small doesn’t have to mean doing it all. Love it!
My mom sent me this book for Christmas and I haven’t started it yet, but after reading this, I’m definitely going to read it!
It’s an easy read with some great lessons. I hope you enjoy it. 🙂